Big. Bigger. Biggest News Ever.

This elephant has absolutely nothing to do with the novel The One Way Rejuvenation of Allowishus Scrimshaw. I don't even think elephants are mentioned in passing. However, the illustrated pachyderm wholeheartedly, and whole trunkedly, endorses all 59 chapters of Allowishus' shenanigans. Guaranteed or your money back! (?) The novel is currently available in mint condition for FREE...but hurry! Enjoy this book before the pages are eaten by digital bookworms and the entire thing deteriorates into illegible binary code.

Click HERE or on the link labeled Allowishus: The Novel to read the amazingly blasphemous adventures of Amaury Objetsculpte, aka Allowishus Scrimshaw, aka scapegoat extraordinaire.

Surgeon General's Warning: You are hereby advised to relieve yourself before reading this hilarious novel. THE HEREAFTER will not reimburse those foolish enough not to heed this warning, despite exorbitant expenses incurred from dry cleaning soiled garments.