Put My Face on the Quarter

I turned 25 today. A quarter of a century. An even 300 months. More days waking up alone than I care to remember, though the days waking up next to somebody are the most vivid.

In observance of my special day, a day I entered this world flailing, naked, and puerilely pink, below are 25 things that help define me, 25 things I've done to differentiate me from the hordes of other 25-year-olds and from those who will some day be 25. To all of those who never made it this far, I'm sorry, but you're probably better off having passed at an early age, you're never as happy as you are when you're a child. Going to the dentist and doctor is actually scarier than when you're a child, because kids skin knees and get strep, adults die from cancer and ebola and lose their teeth. Cartoons lose their addictive appeal. And candy doesn't taste as good at 25 as it did at 7.














And without further ado and in no particular order.

25. Mushed a team of Iditarod sled dogs on top of a glacier.
24. Caught crayfish with my bare hands in summer, Mid-Western streams while the cool rush of water parted ways around my dimpled legs.
23. Lived at the base of a Moorish castle in Granada, Spain and actually started to forget how to speak proper English.
22. Ate raspberries straight off the bush and chewed on wild clover.
21. Made myself laugh hysterically in a public place while others looked on and wondered whether or not to be afraid of me.
20. Woken to the sound of howler monkeys barking.
19. Kept my lunch down while salmon fishing in a boat off the Kenai Peninsula, Alaska with 9 foot waves crashing around us.
18. Got an education I wanted, even if it turned out to be inapplicable.
17. Used a word no one else knew.
16. Abandoned my prepubescent palate and developed refined tastes for things like liver, sweet breads, snails, foie gras, game meat, sea urchin roe, raw oysters, unpasteurized sheep's milk cheese, bourbon on the rocks, wine, and anchovies.
15. Recorded a song I wrote that so perfectly encapsulated every one of my emotions I never grew tired of listening to it.
14. Threw up a cheese sandwich and an unsanitary amount of absinthe at the feet of a Winston Churchill Statue in Prague.
13. Learned to cook better than most restaurant chefs.
12. Came to hate money.
11. Came to understand that what you desire to possess more than anything is often also the thing you hate more than anything.
10. Published my work.
9. Confessed to a lie I'd told.
8. Wrote a novel in three days.
7. Learned to cry.
6. Became well-read.
5. Apologized in spite of my pride.
4. Realized that we cannot will objectivity into existence, and so we must recognize the infirm ubiquity of subjectivity.
3. Didn't stop at "just enough."
2. Gave more than I took and felt at peace with the uneven distribution.
1. Loved somebody and had them love me back.



















I hope I learn as much in the next 25 years as I did in the first.