Potpourri - Pay Attention You!

Nashville: Population: 2 more than yesterday.

I've safely arrived in Nashville, a town most people associate with iconic country western singers, southern culture, and barbecue, and I have to say I've yet to form an opinion of this place because I have seen so little of it. However I like the barges that cruise along the river behind my apartment complex. I don't like the ADHD kids that live above us and seem to test the limits of how many times one can loudly run back and forth the length of the apartment before the neighbors below attack. Being a fan of hickory smoked meats, grits, White Castle sliders, and banjos, I think it's safe to say I'll like it hear.

As is expected I'm currently looking for work. I've narrowed the jobs I'm willing to accept down to two categories: a) jobs involving pummeling with rubber mallets those people who can't distinguish the difference between apes and monkeys or b) personal insult therapist. If you know any rich Nashville industrialists who like to be mocked indignantly or any vengeful zoological groups, please drop me a line. Also if anyone has an extra sofa or recliner just taking up space in their apartment please Fed-Ex it to me ASAP.


What I've been listening to lately:

1. Shakira - Fijacion Oral Vol. 1 (Guilty pop pleasure or mark of being culturally broadminded, I haven't decided)
2. Bright Eyes - Digital Ash in a Digital Urn (Like turning your annoying, whiney cousin into the robot from Short Circuit)
3. Yann Tiersen - Amelie Soundtrack (The accordian, when used properly, is as languid as the violin)
4. Ryan Adams - Cold Roses (Think a dispirited but catchy Ryan Adams doing his best impression of Dwight Yokam)
5. Stephen Malkmus - Face the Truth (You either love it or hate it - jam, rock, electronic, folk - he does it all, and mostly out of tune too)

Tangential revelation: Within ten years - due to the unprecedented demand for Krispy Kreme over the past four years - the cliche, "I'll bet dollars to doughnuts," will no longer remain a valid caliber of very favorable odds, as the price of a doughnut will soon surpass the value of a dollar. Perhaps we'll have to change the saying to, "I'll bet you Euros to doughnuts."!

P.S. Monkeys have tails, apes do not. However, the Barbary Apes living on the Straight of Gibraltar, which have no tails, are actually monkeys. They are an exception you should forget in 3...2...1...

Quack Quack. I think I have a pinched nerve in my back. I have back aches and a warm sensation that feels like a hot wire running down the length of my thigh. If anyone has an extra spine just taking up space in their apartment please Fed-Ex it to me ASAP.

Bizzle Poll: Should Bizzle get a cell phone? Leave persuasive arguments of no more than 100 words in the comment corner. If you have an unconvincing argument please limit it to 75 words, at least 15 of which should be curse words. Thank you.